The eternal truth of the Badassmotherfuckers



The Badassmotherfucker religion is based upon the holy writings by S:t Asskicker of Pensacola in the year of our Lord 1851. He recieved the wisdom from the archangel Ali of the Muhammeds while he was knitting a pair of socks. He then became a true Badassmotherfucker, threw his knitting aside, banged his wife, went to the bar to get drunk and kicked a couple of lowlife raggers. He is now known as the greatest asskicker in the history of man.

These are the truths of God Almighty as revealed to S:t Asskicker:

  1. Do not take shit from anyone, for thou art the giver of shit, not the taker.
  2. Thou shalt at least once in every sentence avail yourself of the word "fuck".
  3. Raggers art of evil and must be utterly destroyed from the face of our earth.
  4. Thine whole life must be dedicated to the Badassmotherfuckers and their way of life.
  5. Thou must struggle against pink fluffy bunnyslippers and Barney. They art the spawn
    of the devil and wilt destroy thee if thou art not prepared.
  6. Badassmotherfuckers who die do not go to heaven. Heaven is for faggets who like to
    play harp and wear dresses. No, I sayeth, when thou die, thou shalt kick ass in hell.
  7. Thou shalt not kill if thou canst torment.


To be able to live as a true Badassmotherfucker you must follow certain clothing rules, as specified in the Gospels of Rambo 4:12-15.

"And God said to S:t Djingis Khan: 'Wear long johns to strike fear into thine enemies. And thou shalt also wear cool sunglasses to make thine enemy crawl in envy. Wear also reebok pumps to step on thine enemy's index fingers. If this do not work, run as hell, cause I can't do shit to help thee, my son.'"

You must also do things in a Badassmotherfuckering way if you want to be accepted as a Badassmotherfucker. See Tormentus 3:45-48.

"The children of Badassus all shaved with stiletts. In the name of our God they drank three beers every evening. To praise his glory they never used deodorant. The children of Badassus were fertile and reproduced with their wives and the wives of their friends and the wives of strangers."

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